Life on the Red Carpet

So it's been a while since I posted because first off I stink. I haven't been up to much except going out and enjoying basketball. The life of a jobless means March Madness makes you truly mad. And that's a good thing. I've been logging many hours on at sports bars watching the game. I also partied it up with a band a couple of nights which was pretty damn cool. But alas that take met to Saturday.

I went to a foreign video service last week who told me that they didn't have any money in their budget for freelancers but to come in anyway just to talk. So I did. I went in there and they liked me but again said they didn't have any money in their budget. They wanted me to fill out paperwork just in case someone had some vacation time or something coming up so I would be in the system. Two days later I get a call on Friday night as I'm about to head to the sports bar for more basketball. They ask if I can work tomorrow night. I say sure because I have nothing else going on but a couple of parties and frankly one cannot say no to a call like that. Especially with the way things are right now. So I'm booked. He wants me to call back and get the details about the event in the morning. So I do.

The event that I am to field produce is the "ER" wrap party and he wants me on the red carpet as cast members past and present arrive to the party. So there you go. My first red carpet. A little different than what I was used to, which is very very very exciting press conferences with Senators or Cabinet members or breaking news situations talking to people who have just lost their homes, have had family members killed, or looking for hope as they are about to get kicked out of their house. Needless to say the red carpet was a little different.

So back to the event. They have the red carpet set up and the actors will walk up the line from camera to camera talking to everyone who wants to ask them questions which is of course everyone. At the front of the carpet is the big guns, your "Access Hollywood", "The Insider", and "ET". Then it's the TV Guide Channel, E! and so one. Then it's the affiliates like NBC News Channel and then us foreigners. I'm next to a Canadian talk shows over by the wire services and then a couple of Latin American stations. Set up and check in is at 6:45pm and my crew doesn't show up till 7:15. The red carpet starts at 7:30pm sharp. He's a cranky Eastern European who quickly tells me essentially my experience is shit and that this "ain't the hill" in reference to my decade of work in DC. He then goes on about how he's been in War zones and that the DC crews are crap because they just run around chasing members of Congress. I try to inform him that the pool of international crews comes from DC and that they are on the rotation to Baghdad and other spots. He's not interested and tells me how news is going to shit and that everything is shit. He was a happy man. So 7:30 comes around and here comes the actors.

I have always kind of felt bad for actors who have to do junkets and these things and that was solidified. You can hear people five crews down asking the same generic questions I'm going to ask. Now if it was some other event maybe I could mix it up but people in Europe won't care about the details so the questions the actors are being asked again and again is the same ones that are broad and generic, "what is your favorite memory", "what did being on ER mean to you" and so on. I was surprised by how upfront and simple all the actors were on the "what ER meant to them" and "how did the show change them personally" answers. I was expecting that it would be some personal thing or moment that touched them. They all flat out said something along the lines, "well first off financially it set me up. I mean my standard of living is soo much higher now". It's all true of course I guess I was just surprised by how that was their first answer.

The other thing that cracked me up is that the entire focus was on a few actors. You had the secondary players and no one was interested. Now I especially wasn't because I'm thinking my services viewership in Europe wouldn't know or care about the minor players so I tried to focus on the big dogs. Only problem was that they were about done answering the questions when they got down to my end. The Canadian show was the death nail for me. The woman went on and on that she literally wore down her people. John Stamos was about to head down to the line when she grabbed him and asked him question after question but this time it was about the craft of acting so Stamos went on and on with his answers. When he finished up he said "I need to get a drink" and ran inside. Of course my lovely cameraman was like, what's that guys problem he thinks he's George Clooney. Who does he think he is. He's a want to be Clooney. I tried to inform him of who John Stamos actually is but Grumpy didn't want any part of it. To him he's a poor mans Clooney which, who knows, for all I know the guy could be right. Maura Tierney was also worn out by my favorite Canuck. She looked tired just answering this woman. I felt tired for her.

Laura Innes comes by and I am trying to get the attention of her press person who walked past me twice. I'm like, ahh, could you actually do your damn job and get her over here, thank you very much. Then she goes back and gives her to the Chatty Canuck and I'm like, oh crap she wants to go to the party and now I'm not going to get her. But finally her press person walks up to me and apologizes and says I'm next since I was cut in line. So Laura Innes is the longest cast member on the show having been on it for 12 seasons so anyone who's watched the show should know her. She was the female lead for most of that time. She was extremely nice and cracked me up as she finished up our short Q and A with a "good luck young man". Now I have a baby face but I'm 32. She's less than 20 years older than me and I get the "good luck young man" And I wonder why I can't get a job. People take one look at my face and think I'm twelve. Good times.

Finally the two big guns show up, Eriq LaSalle and Noah Wyle. (George Clooney was not expected). LaSalle poses for the still photographers and wants no part of the tv crews. And I mean no part. He walked back behind the curtain to completely avoid every single person. Even the Access Hollywood and all of them. Noah Wyle walks down and talks to all the folks and then is being told he needs to head into the party as the producers are giving their speeches and they are way behind schedule. He's hit by NBC affiliate having skipped the E! and TV Guide to their annoyance. Or last I think that's the two he skipped. Anyway, he has to go in after this interview as he's talking about how he took one of the OR doors and his wife says it will be the door to his office. My only thought is why the hell does he need a door to his office. He was just making 9 million a year on ER. Does he really need a real office anymore? Doesn't he have people who do all of that work for him anyway? But what the hell do I know I'm just some moron who used to be on the Hill.

A couple of thoughts about the event-
Everyone talks about how short everyone in Hollywood is but "ER" is not the case. Stamos was like 5'10 and the shortest of the main guys. Wyle was about 6'3" and LaSalle was close to that. Tom Everett Scott was like 6'4" and James Cromwell has to be about 6'7" or something. He was tall as hell. Either that or the red carpet was taller than where they had us. Which of course could be a possibility.

The cast also looks like run of the mill people. Nobody really stood out as a "damn they are good looking". Now I know Noah Wyle gets the ladies going and he's a good looking dude but he only gets them going because he's on TV. Shane West who I remember the girls were swooning over back when I was in college looked like some of idiots I went to college with. Nothing better. The women were the same. Maura Tierney looked exactly as I would of expected and how she looked on News Radio. Alex Winston looked much better than she did on "ER". Much classier and put together. And absurdly nice. Or at least that's how she came off.

In the further proof Australians are awesome people. David Lyons has me cracking up when he was talking about the best part of the show were the people who worked on the show and going to their parties and getting drunk with them. He then added that, hell, this my soon my best memory of the show as we are about to have a great party tonight and tie one on.

The only follks that were more than game to hit every crew were the three guys who are new shows and they were trying to sell them. I obviously didn't care since Europe only picks up the big hits but listening to these guys try and convince the Latin America stations to watch their show as they said "watch insert name of show here on said channel" in horrible Spanish was pretty damn entertaining.

The other producers were there for the event. They were dressed up and had some unique outside. Someone was decked out in a pastel blue attire which was a high cut puffy dress wearing blue glitter. Another was wearing what almost appeared to be a formal dress. They were there to partake in the party. I was the most low key in my sport coat and pants. You know me, the Tavman doesn't do fancy. After all I just came from the boring hill where nothing every happens and we don't know what's going on and that we're all shit. Something my crew made sure I couldn't forget.