Life on the Red Carpet

So it's been a while since I posted because first off I stink. I haven't been up to much except going out and enjoying basketball. The life of a jobless means March Madness makes you truly mad. And that's a good thing. I've been logging many hours on at sports bars watching the game. I also partied it up with a band a couple of nights which was pretty damn cool. But alas that take met to Saturday.

I went to a foreign video service last week who told me that they didn't have any money in their budget for freelancers but to come in anyway just to talk. So I did. I went in there and they liked me but again said they didn't have any money in their budget. They wanted me to fill out paperwork just in case someone had some vacation time or something coming up so I would be in the system. Two days later I get a call on Friday night as I'm about to head to the sports bar for more basketball. They ask if I can work tomorrow night. I say sure because I have nothing else going on but a couple of parties and frankly one cannot say no to a call like that. Especially with the way things are right now. So I'm booked. He wants me to call back and get the details about the event in the morning. So I do.

The event that I am to field produce is the "ER" wrap party and he wants me on the red carpet as cast members past and present arrive to the party. So there you go. My first red carpet. A little different than what I was used to, which is very very very exciting press conferences with Senators or Cabinet members or breaking news situations talking to people who have just lost their homes, have had family members killed, or looking for hope as they are about to get kicked out of their house. Needless to say the red carpet was a little different.

So back to the event. They have the red carpet set up and the actors will walk up the line from camera to camera talking to everyone who wants to ask them questions which is of course everyone. At the front of the carpet is the big guns, your "Access Hollywood", "The Insider", and "ET". Then it's the TV Guide Channel, E! and so one. Then it's the affiliates like NBC News Channel and then us foreigners. I'm next to a Canadian talk shows over by the wire services and then a couple of Latin American stations. Set up and check in is at 6:45pm and my crew doesn't show up till 7:15. The red carpet starts at 7:30pm sharp. He's a cranky Eastern European who quickly tells me essentially my experience is shit and that this "ain't the hill" in reference to my decade of work in DC. He then goes on about how he's been in War zones and that the DC crews are crap because they just run around chasing members of Congress. I try to inform him that the pool of international crews comes from DC and that they are on the rotation to Baghdad and other spots. He's not interested and tells me how news is going to shit and that everything is shit. He was a happy man. So 7:30 comes around and here comes the actors.

I have always kind of felt bad for actors who have to do junkets and these things and that was solidified. You can hear people five crews down asking the same generic questions I'm going to ask. Now if it was some other event maybe I could mix it up but people in Europe won't care about the details so the questions the actors are being asked again and again is the same ones that are broad and generic, "what is your favorite memory", "what did being on ER mean to you" and so on. I was surprised by how upfront and simple all the actors were on the "what ER meant to them" and "how did the show change them personally" answers. I was expecting that it would be some personal thing or moment that touched them. They all flat out said something along the lines, "well first off financially it set me up. I mean my standard of living is soo much higher now". It's all true of course I guess I was just surprised by how that was their first answer.

The other thing that cracked me up is that the entire focus was on a few actors. You had the secondary players and no one was interested. Now I especially wasn't because I'm thinking my services viewership in Europe wouldn't know or care about the minor players so I tried to focus on the big dogs. Only problem was that they were about done answering the questions when they got down to my end. The Canadian show was the death nail for me. The woman went on and on that she literally wore down her people. John Stamos was about to head down to the line when she grabbed him and asked him question after question but this time it was about the craft of acting so Stamos went on and on with his answers. When he finished up he said "I need to get a drink" and ran inside. Of course my lovely cameraman was like, what's that guys problem he thinks he's George Clooney. Who does he think he is. He's a want to be Clooney. I tried to inform him of who John Stamos actually is but Grumpy didn't want any part of it. To him he's a poor mans Clooney which, who knows, for all I know the guy could be right. Maura Tierney was also worn out by my favorite Canuck. She looked tired just answering this woman. I felt tired for her.

Laura Innes comes by and I am trying to get the attention of her press person who walked past me twice. I'm like, ahh, could you actually do your damn job and get her over here, thank you very much. Then she goes back and gives her to the Chatty Canuck and I'm like, oh crap she wants to go to the party and now I'm not going to get her. But finally her press person walks up to me and apologizes and says I'm next since I was cut in line. So Laura Innes is the longest cast member on the show having been on it for 12 seasons so anyone who's watched the show should know her. She was the female lead for most of that time. She was extremely nice and cracked me up as she finished up our short Q and A with a "good luck young man". Now I have a baby face but I'm 32. She's less than 20 years older than me and I get the "good luck young man" And I wonder why I can't get a job. People take one look at my face and think I'm twelve. Good times.

Finally the two big guns show up, Eriq LaSalle and Noah Wyle. (George Clooney was not expected). LaSalle poses for the still photographers and wants no part of the tv crews. And I mean no part. He walked back behind the curtain to completely avoid every single person. Even the Access Hollywood and all of them. Noah Wyle walks down and talks to all the folks and then is being told he needs to head into the party as the producers are giving their speeches and they are way behind schedule. He's hit by NBC affiliate having skipped the E! and TV Guide to their annoyance. Or last I think that's the two he skipped. Anyway, he has to go in after this interview as he's talking about how he took one of the OR doors and his wife says it will be the door to his office. My only thought is why the hell does he need a door to his office. He was just making 9 million a year on ER. Does he really need a real office anymore? Doesn't he have people who do all of that work for him anyway? But what the hell do I know I'm just some moron who used to be on the Hill.

A couple of thoughts about the event-
Everyone talks about how short everyone in Hollywood is but "ER" is not the case. Stamos was like 5'10 and the shortest of the main guys. Wyle was about 6'3" and LaSalle was close to that. Tom Everett Scott was like 6'4" and James Cromwell has to be about 6'7" or something. He was tall as hell. Either that or the red carpet was taller than where they had us. Which of course could be a possibility.

The cast also looks like run of the mill people. Nobody really stood out as a "damn they are good looking". Now I know Noah Wyle gets the ladies going and he's a good looking dude but he only gets them going because he's on TV. Shane West who I remember the girls were swooning over back when I was in college looked like some of idiots I went to college with. Nothing better. The women were the same. Maura Tierney looked exactly as I would of expected and how she looked on News Radio. Alex Winston looked much better than she did on "ER". Much classier and put together. And absurdly nice. Or at least that's how she came off.

In the further proof Australians are awesome people. David Lyons has me cracking up when he was talking about the best part of the show were the people who worked on the show and going to their parties and getting drunk with them. He then added that, hell, this my soon my best memory of the show as we are about to have a great party tonight and tie one on.

The only follks that were more than game to hit every crew were the three guys who are new shows and they were trying to sell them. I obviously didn't care since Europe only picks up the big hits but listening to these guys try and convince the Latin America stations to watch their show as they said "watch insert name of show here on said channel" in horrible Spanish was pretty damn entertaining.

The other producers were there for the event. They were dressed up and had some unique outside. Someone was decked out in a pastel blue attire which was a high cut puffy dress wearing blue glitter. Another was wearing what almost appeared to be a formal dress. They were there to partake in the party. I was the most low key in my sport coat and pants. You know me, the Tavman doesn't do fancy. After all I just came from the boring hill where nothing every happens and we don't know what's going on and that we're all shit. Something my crew made sure I couldn't forget.

Sunday Funday

So I found a place to live and I moved on Saturday. Now some people might decide to spend Sunday getting unsettled and unpacking but I'm not most people. It was beautiful out so I decided to enjoy my new home, Venice.

Two friends come over and we head down to the beach. They both have their bikes and I, having made the terrible mistake of leaving mine in DC, had to rent a beach cruiser for the day. I quickly learned a couple of things. The strand on the beach is not conducive to a road bike which I had in DC. Once it's got a lot of sand on it at spots which would mean a wipe out if one is on their 2000 dollar bike. It is also very very crowded so it's more of a cruise speed and not actually anything trying to fly. If you don't move in DC on the bike trail you will have issues. The fact that there aren't more accidents with all the runners and bikers and other folks on the trails in DC is pretty shocking considering how crowded it can get on nice days. On the strand in the beach it's supposed to be just bikers but there are so many and they are just lolly gagging along at a snails pace that you have no choice but to go slow. This all explains why everyone has cruisers here. Only I quickly realize I'm not a fan. I don't like the ride. I wish I had my mountain bike with me. At least it would be useful in the hills and could handle the beach, especially after the tightened the shocks. Sadly it's in DC in the snow and I'm here in the fun.

So we bike up to Santa Monica and past the pier. It's a great day a nd a nice ride and we're taking in the sights. Now I had previously walked up Venice a bit but my god it was much much more crowded than it was the last time. There are kinds of people selling crap and when I say crap. I mean crap. I will explain this more. I also made the tragic mistake to forget my camera. A constant complaint I have been getting is that I haven't been posting pictures. Well this would of been a perfect day for that but sadly no camera. Sorry folks. I'll try and change that.

After biking to Santa Monica we decide to bike down to Venice and grab lunch. We get stopped by this short muscular black dude in an American Flag bikini bottom. He is throwing around a ten pound ball and warns us not to get any food from the carts as they have been killing dogs and he thinks they are serving it. At least that's what we think he is saying. So we acknowledge the advice and avoid a cart and hita stand. I get what was supposed to be BBQ tri-cut tips but it's just a hunk of roast beef. Ok. Fine. My two friends get empanadas and we decide to head over to the basketball courts where they filmed White Man Can't Jump. We walk up and they are ballin'. The quality of the play is, well downright bad. It's sloppy. It's a bunch of dudes running up and down the court passing once and then trying to drive to the hoop. But then two guys start yelling at each other from accross the court. One dude is telling the other that, "Oh I know you I know you." The other responds back, "Bitch you ain't shit. You ain't shit. Put you money where your mouth is. Come on N----- put your money where your mouth is. I got 5 hundy that I gotch you. Come on bitch. Five hundy. Put it up. " The other dude starts talking smack and the first guy says something about a gun so the second dude walks up to him, "what's this talk about a gun. Come on, I know you. I know you. You don't need no gun. Why you bringin' up a gun. There ain't no need for that shit." The first dude replies, "I got it in my bag right here. Show me yours. Come on show me yours." Now all comes to ease and things are good. Now why pray to ask did we sit there during this. Because it sounded much worse than it was. It was two dude that were obviously friendly to each other frankly just talking shit to each other.

By this time another game has started and this tall dude with bushy hair is apparently hated by everyone else because he kept calling, "bitch fouls." Every time they would go down to the hoop the guy would call a foul. Now I personally had to agree with his critics. When I played on the playground unless you ass got dropped you didn't call a foul. It was also far more physical than the play I got to witness here. I was disappointed in the play. No one was shooting. A lot of turnovers and just flat out sloppy. No one could even drive to the hoop with style. Not at all what I was expecting though the shit talking and the fact the game almost came to blows was a lot of fun to witness. I did see the guys in the middle court looked like they could shoot pretty damn well. I just wasn't paying attention to them. I'm definitely going to have to go back and check it out again.

So after lunch we head on down to Marina Del Ray. Talk about a change of scenery. You go from a very bohemian/boardwalk feel of Venice to biking through really nice houses and then to the marina which of course is Yacht city. Talk about huge nice yachts. Man I need to learn how to sail. Anyway we bike to the Lighthouse area where there is a live seven piece band playing and city with a bunch of older folks dancing and hanging around having a blast. I'm definitely going to have to go back there again.

It's about 5pm and one of my friends could eat again so I'm like well I wouldn't mind getting a drink. So we walk back to the beach to grab a drink and watch the sunset. Some things we see as we're walking down the boardwalk-
-Two Medical Marijuana spots.
-Some dude asking me if my mom was here in the 70's because he's pretty sure he fucked her. Nice folks here on the boardwalk.
-God knows how many stores selling bongs and pipes in the window. Apparently pot is quite big here. Oh and the smell of some of the people we were behind was, let me just say, nasty.
-A dude on stilts dressed up as a tree. He has leaves and branches on him and would lean against the trees and pop out to scare people.
-Three girls have a hula hoops off.
-Many many psychics wanted to read your palms or give you a reading. Why is it if you have a board walk and a beach someone feels they can see your future? Maybe I should of asked one if they saw a job in my future.
-A drum circle. There were at least 200 if not 300 people on the beach dancing and going crazy around a bunch of hippies playing the bongos. It was awesome. Unfortunately my friends didn't want to go up and get closer to the mayhem but next time I'm getting more details of what the hell this fiasco was. Apparently it's a weekly occurrence.

So is Sunday evening drinking. We went to three spots before we could find a table for a drink. They were freaking packed. Hell the bar we settled on was even out of the some of the drafts. We settled on a Bitburger and watched the sunset. Did I mention that DC got walloped with snow? I might not have a job or anything furthering my life but I sure had a great Sunday Funday.

And to Hermosa we go

It's Friday. It's the day that the world says goodbye to the troubles of the work week and gets ready to have some fun. Or if you're like me you pretend to say good bye to the troubles of the work week and have some fun anyway. I make some calls and nothing seems to be going on. Why is it my first weekend here there was a ton of stuff going on and now nothing? Those that are in town are laying low. Umm ok.

So a friend of mine decide to head to Hermosa and hit the crazy happy hour specials. 2 for 1 till 7pm at Sharkey's on the Pier. It's 4:30pm and it's packed. We walk around and finally find a seat in the corner of the deck. The waitress walks up and asks if we just came from inside and I tell her no we just got here. Waitress is hot. Bleach blonde hair but it become apparently rather quickly she's missing a couple of cells upstairs. The same can be said of the better looking blonde she is training. Sadly the only really attractive women in our vicinity are the two waitresses. I thought Southern California was supposed to be running rampant with hotties. So far I haven't seen it. A couple of more local bars in Arlington are stocked with more talent than I've been seeing here. Well so my friend and I start talking to someone only it's the dude sitting next to me who's stuck there all by himself because his girlfriend refusing to come out tonight because it's freezing. Mind you it's a whopping 65 or something. Oh yeah that's ice cold. He tries to justifiy it by saying she's from Pasedena and doesn't know any better. Ok ok. Whatever. Meanwhile the east coast is getting a snow storm. Ok there dude.

We've had a enough and the special is over so we decide to move on to the dragon which has half price drinks till 9pm. Did I mention you can get in a lot of trouble in Hermosa? Only our brilliant waitress has double charged us. We have not had what she claims she has. They both try to explain the bill to us but I can see the steam coming out of there ears and frankly it's hurting us trying to fight them. Luckily for them we're happy and don't feel like fight. It dawns on us that we ordered a couple of rounds and had to remind her and we figure she put the order in and just forgot to pick them up and once we reminded her she put another order in. Since it's half price and we're in decent moods we move on. She's not worth the energy for the extra 10 bucks. Either she's one hell of a scam artist (which who knows could be possible), she's making the bar bank by being an idiot, or she needs the all the help she can get in life so we let it go.

We go to the Dragon which is uneventful except for the fact the dude with the girlfriend is talking to a handful of hotties and is doing nothing to help out us. In fact he's completely forgotten us so we move on to the Poop Deck. And yes you. read that right. The name of the bar is the poop deck. The bar is a complete dive bar which considering the name is not a shocker. But next thing we know we're in the middle of a flip cup game which we continue to play much longer than we should of but had a moment of clarity and decided to call it a night. Yup that's right I got Pooped at Poop Deck. That my friends is good times.