When you can't find a job, find an apartment

So my friend who's place has been crashing has been informed that I need to leave or they will charge more in rent. So that means I'm out. Off to find a place. Here are some more quality listings from the list-

I HAVE A HUGE APARTMENT IN HOLLYWOOD AND I NEVER USE MY LIVING ROOM- IT HAS A PRIVATE SLEEPING AREA AND AN AMAZING VIEW OF HOLLYWOOD AND ALL THE HOLLYWOOD STARS - IF YOU LOOK UP! ( : YOU HAVE KITCHEN BATH MICROWAVE INTERNET OVEN SHOWER AND YOU ARE 1 BLOCK AWAY FROM THE HISTORIC HISTORIC HOLLYWOOD BLVD WALK OF FAME AND THE MANNS CHINESE THEATER AND THE HOLLYWOOD PREMIERS AND SHOPPING AND MALLS AND SUBWAY AND TRANSPORTATION. PLEASE SEND A PHOTO AND A PHONE NUMBER, YOU CAN TELL A LOT BY A PHOTO. NO SORRY I DO NOT HAVE ROOM FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND OR YOUR PETS.

Umm I guess they want a woman where they can tell a lot about like whether she will sleep with him.

avail now til end of march for $800 - our lease is up - if you would like to stay and find new roomies, our landlord is awesome. And if the situation is ideal, one of us is open to staying here longer - the other one has to move due to a new job.
$800 all inclusive - price negotiable. - no security deposit necessary
Lankershim and Ventura - next to universal studios and the metro line.
room for rent in a house with 2 kick ass women and a very insanely adorable small dog.
We are in our early 30's and keep different hours.
One of us has an ever changing schedule, and one of us sits in her room all day pretending to look busy whenever anyone knocks.
Female, Obama supporter or gay man preferred, but will consider anyone with a good heart - which will be determined by your taste in music.
Stellar cooks will get bonus points. Budding young shoe or clothing designers will be accepted immediately.
Very arts and entertainment oriented household. You don't have to be the 'new best friend', but we have been friends for many years and it is a tight knit environment so expect to be invited along to the local bar, or to the canyon for a hike.....huh? Yes, we are a house of dichotomy - AND 3 syllable words, oh my!
Smoking shall be done outside, or occasionally in the other filthy smoker's room - but you have to make nice with her first.
share one large bathroom - this works much better than one might imagine.
The room is not huge, but not super small - will fit a desk, a queen bed - it has a nice closet and doors that open up into the sunroom.
parking space available.
laundry, cable in the living room, wireless internet, outdoor jacuzzi.
next to a beautiful park.

Sense of humour is imperative, perfection is not - but self awareness will always garner kudos.

please respond by telling us a lil bit about yourself - in point form - we look forward to hearing from you.
have a beautiful day.
Umm seriously you want to make sure you have the same politics as someone? Or you want to make sure that they are gay? Where's the acceptance of diversity? Does anyone else find that hypocritical? I guess their self awareness is not garnering kudos.

$450 for GayMale in open Loft. in large Hse. No Lease/No Deposit (Reseda) -umm isn't that discriminatory to say you will only take gay men instead of women or straight men?

$450 $400 Lady! Small Open Loft w/bed. Owner-white lady (reseda)- ahh for the racist folks out there that want to make sure their landlady/roommate is some cranky old white woman.

Wanna live in Hollywood but low on funds? 18-24 female? (LA)

UU r single and wanna live in a safe part of Hollywood.
U r into live music, dancing, and will not bring the party home.
U do not have a ton of stuff to bring.
U r clean, neat, and tidy.
U r open minded about living rent and bill free with a single male musician.
Hope you're well, maybe we can become friends and help each other out?
U r on the submissive/quiet side and non-confrontational.

and how should the lovely lass expect to help our fine musician out I must ask?

I live in an amazing historic 1920s building, near Hollywood and Highland, this is Oscar weekend and you may stay with me longer on a month to month basis. Europeans welcome to stay with me instead of a hotel. I am an actor , I am a GWM, former model and moved here from NYC...Bills are getting a bit behind so need a little help. Perfer a clean, upscale open minded fun person who cleans up well. Please be honest and perhaps another massage worker as well, table set up and studio in apt. I love yoga, massage, clubbing, and can give great advise on how to start a career in acting or modeling. please call me at 213. Walking distacnce to all the hottest clubs gyms restaurants and hiking trails. please be into a fit lifestyle, no smoking 420 ok...please give me a disscription of yourself, your situation and please a pic along with it. Putting mine up as well.. I will get a hold of you for an appointment for a interview to look at the place and see if we are a fit.
Umm can anyone fit with that picture? At least it further proves that the long talked about rumor and stereotype that most male models are probably gay, probably are.

Well if you're wondering if I'm probably going to be homeless for a while, well you're probably right.